I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize