he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize