its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Vodka?
Forever.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
