Whod you bang
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
That's how pantless uber rides happen
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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