I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
