I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
