really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
