you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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