im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
