Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
why didn't you poke me back
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
