Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
