some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
