In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
A bitchslap is in order.
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