Please, let me fuck your mom
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
