also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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