So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
