how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Randomize
