I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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