Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
