Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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