I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
