I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
