Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
