i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
