just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
