So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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