He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i dont even know how to be here
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize