I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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