you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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