and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize