I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
