Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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