You smell like stripper and shame
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
