I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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