Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
