I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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