He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
