it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
