YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
