I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
