We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
