I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
