At least make sure they are 18
Why
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
