idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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