i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
