I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
