dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How naked do you want me to be?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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