She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
