More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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