I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
