it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
