woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
