My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
