Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize