I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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