last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
