I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
