Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
