No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
