God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
