Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
