in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
