At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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