I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
