Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
