If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
