2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We just shotgunned beers for America
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Randomize
