I just made out with a guy for $7.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
