For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
where are you?
Hypothermia
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Randomize
