Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
