I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
